"When you go, would you even turn to say 'I don't love you like I did yesterday'"
Before I leave, I have to say something, because I'm the type that always wants the last word. Because I promised to put all my most terrible thoughts here. All my most terrible feelings. Here. Here where anyone could see, although I never thought they would. So here you go. This is the last call. Tomorrow, I'm gone forever. But tonight, tonight you can take one last look at all the ugly parts of me. Take your shoes off. Stay a while. Re-read the parts that make you feel better about yourself.
But before I go, I need you to see something in me that's not terrible. Because that's all you've seen so far. Because I have love even for you, the bitch who made me cold. I know you can't say the same for me. But before I go, I guess I just want you to know how life works. Because that's the best advice I can give. The best way to say goodbye. So say so long.
It's not about finding God, or finding yourself, or finding love. There's nothing left to find. We've already found it. It's about being kind to people. So try it once in a while.
Because I'm colder than ever.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
I suppose I should have done this from the start- published my thoughts online, I mean. I'm a writer. I write. I'm young...very young. But the way I see it, this is a new world I have yet to venture into. So this is me venturing into that world, with one eye blind and one eye searching for something I've been trying to find since I first took up that ball-point pen and said "This is it. This is me." This is what it sounds like to to want something so badly you're sure the world can hear every thought you make. So World, I have one question. Are you listening?